Jokes
I keep having my profile on that dating website "Match.com" rejected.
One of the questions is, "What do you want in a woman?"
Apparently "my cock" is not an acceptable answer.
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A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, "you've all got one minute to get out!"
The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, "you c*nt!"
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Why are women like clouds? Eventually they f*ck off and it’s a really nice day
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A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?"
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back
to him.
"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat b1tch."
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My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and,
when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big f*cking red mark on her forehead.
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I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up to me and asked to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
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Zebo, a half blind five year old south African orphan, has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes.
Give just small donation of 2 dollars and we'll send you the video, its f*cking hilarious....
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I had a dog named Minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttlecocks.
Bad Minton.
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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; "F*ck off, you won't bring it back."
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2 Men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco
Machine. He lasts over 10 minutes.
"Crikey mate, that was impressive!"
"I get lots of practice" Replied the other guy. "My Wife’s epileptic"
hahaha 
